November 11, 2005
Why Lemony?
I like lemons well enough. I like the sound of the word, and I really like the smell of lemons. And they have some great colors. From really ripe and saturated yellow to fresh greeny-yellow. Mmmm. And my life as a mother is lemon-related: parenting my children can be like lemon juice in the “cut” of my flaws and insecurities- it brings them into painfully sharp focus, and more happily, they brighten up my every day and refresh my view of the world with their innocence and curiosity. See, it all makes sense if you bring it out to the realm of impressions and mix up the senses a bit. That’s how I get a clear picture of the world. I just let my mind go, reaching out to whatever is out there, and I record what I observe in little bits, little webbles, here in this weblog. Kind of like lemon drops. And can I just say that I do all this from within the great life hug of being married to and supported by dear Billy, my husband, who looks great in yellow.
In the category of “what do you do? what’s your field?” I have this to say: Here I am, on this path of learning to be an educator, and right now, fulfilling my potential means finding out all about the learning process and trying to provide my children with a good environment for learning to take place. Right now I’m doing that by homeschooling them. For me, it’s a lifestyle shift. I’ve spent my life inside a certain box of expectations about how school and education works, and now I’m spending some time outside of that box, trying to dodge judgement while I seek the truth for myself instead of just doing what people expect. It’s a little edgy and anxiety-producing for someone that wants everyone to like them, but this little voice is always there, saying “I just gotta be me!”. Being at home with my kids also affords me the opportunity to quilt, which I’m shamelessly addicted to, and to write, as I do here. In the future, I hope to be even more fully myself and maybe even to make money doing it, as the kids and I grow independent enough to pursue our own interests some of the time.
What else makes me unique? I’m a Baha’i, I’m left-handed, I’m red headed ( or at least I USED TO BE), my name (Bahiyyih) has nothing to do with my cultural background but everything to do with who I want to be like, my parents were hippies, my mother is a poet, I lived in a tee pee when I was three, I was conceived in El Salvador, I (we, really) bought a house that was not fit to live in but had a lot of potential and renovated the heck out of it, we’re homeschooling, I’m allergic to some really basic foods (dairy and soy)—that’s all I can think of right now, but that’s enough to cause lots of frowns and need lots of explanations in preliminary introductions to people. Those that hang in there or have embraced their own uniqueness find that I really like to be friends with people and when I get over my initial shyness/fear of being judged, it’s hard to shut me up. Exhibit A: This really long “About” page.
OK, so my wonderful children: Georgia Rose Maryam, age 6, entrepreneur and ballerina, makes up long, meandering songs about deep and virtuous topics, that rhyme! and have great melodies; Maya Zivar, age 3, likes to wear swim suits in November and talks in a really lound, enthusiastic voice, directing make believe with children much older than she; Teresa Dorothy, age 9 months, winner of the Nobel Peace Prize in the zero to three age group, can pull both of her socks off in about three seconds flat.
