I've started the ninth month of pregnancy, which Dr. Sears calls the Labor Month because my body is getting ready for labor and delivery all month, and I can really tell. I not only waddle, but I feel like I lumber around when I walk because I'm generally sore from ligaments stretching. It's taking longer and longer for me to get myself up off of the floor if I'm sitting there. I have a harder time sleeping because it's hard to get comfortable and I have to get up many times in the night to go to the bathroom. Apparently my body is getting rid of extra water now that I've been carrying as amniotic fuid, maybe because the baby's so big now that there's not room for it anymore. So all that makes me tireder and grouchier than I have been. And when I'm tired and grouchy, I feel less able to deal with difficulties that are presented to me. Less capable, less patient. And I have to take naps in the middle of the day sometimes, which the kids don't enjoy, even if they sometimes get to watch extra TV while I rest. I'm really introspective and inwardly focused a lot of the time, which makes me not want to go out anywhere or talk to people very much, although if I have the energy, it's really good for me to do both of those things. But sometimes I just feel so sensitive that I can't bear to be around anyone that might say something jocular or irritating about pregnancy or third babies or having three girls. I'm always trying to figure out what I can and should eat to avoid heartburn and still get in all the good stuff for baby. I've gone back to eating apples all day. Yummy! I spend time talking to and thinking about Theresa a lot, and thinking about and rehearsing labor stuff like relaxation techniques and self-talk to get through painful contractions, which looks to the outside like I'm studying my very outy belly button. I have a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions, especially when I'm tired and stressed from a long day, which only compounds the tired and stressedness. Can you tell that I'm getting close to the end of pregnancy where one has had just about enough? I felt so much better about this fact when I read that all the things I've listed are simply symptoms of the Labor Month.
I look around the house every day and try to figure out what needs to get done before the baby comes. Yesterday we finally oiled the hinges on our bedroom door that have been getting squeakier and louder over the whole time we've lived here. Now it's totally silent so it's ready for a sleeping baby. Billy says he expects to see her in there now that we've gotten it ready for her. We've gotten all of the things we've been collecting and saving for new babyhood out of the attic, and each thing makes Theresa's arrival more real- baby monitor, nursing stool, new changing pad, all the little clothes washed and put away in her dresser, little tiny diapers (so cute!). I've also been packing my bags for labor and the hospital stay. I have to do that in short spurts because it's intense to make that part real.
I've been relaxing by taking baths (also to get ready for laboring in a water birth tub) and trying! to watch funny movies, although I'm having a hard time thinking of any because I'm so distracted. Saying prayers for Theresa is also wonderful, but usually makes me cry becouse I get so, I don't know, hormonal or sentimental, or maybe just full of that intense mommy love. I've also been playing with my NEW SEWING MACHINE! which I ordered online and got a couple days later. It's a very simple Janome with an extra quilting set of attachments. I've been playing with scraps and making them into a wall hanging with little pockets in it for each person in our family for Ayyam-i-Ha. We had one like it when I was little that my mom made. It was a really fun tradition. If the presents were too big to go in the pockets there would be ribbons attached to them from the pockets or clues to where to find them. I feel too distracted to work on anything larger than improvised little projects right now, but that's fine. It's just where I'm at.
Posted by Bahiyyih at January 31, 2005 09:33 AMBahiyyih, it was so great to hear from you last week! You reminded me when I was feeling so isolated that I can just CALL people to get in touch. Somehow I forgot about that...
As far as the last month of pregnancy (I almost wrote labor there) goes, I remember feeling bad about feeling so tired and low-energy so much of the time, like am I doing something wrong here? and is it my fault? And as you said, it really did give me much relief when I finally told myself, NO! this is just how pregnancy goes and it's fine! I also think it's so special how you (and the rest of the family) talk to Teresa. She must feel so loved! I can't wait to meet her!!!
Posted by: Suzanne at January 31, 2005 10:54 AMI didn't know Teresa is the Spanish spelling, but that would make sense. Hmm..
I was hoping you would comment on this post. Thanks for your support for me to feel as bad as I want (you know what I mean) and not feel like I'm doing something wrong.
I always forget that I can call people if I'm feeling isolated. That's what feeling isolated does to your brain. It says, 'there's noone out there who cares or can help'. Wrong! Lots of us down here care and will talk till blue in the face to help. Love, love
Posted by: Bahiyyih at January 31, 2005 01:34 PMBahiyyih,
Your Ayyam-i-ha pockets remind me of something my mom made for us when we were little. We had one large wall-hanging with 5 sets of two pockets each (one for me, one for my lil sis). Each day of Ayyam-i-ha, my mom would write a note, which always rhymed, to each of us and stick the notes in our little pockets. The notes told us a chore we had to do and where to find our gifts. It was such a special tradition. I really miss celebrating Ayyam-i-ha.
Anyway, long comment, but I'm sending you good vibrations from North Carolina. I'm very excited for you. I can't believe it's been 9 months already. Maybe I heard about this pregnancy a little late. Here's wishing you a last month filled with self-love and peaceful thoughts!
Posted by: Katie at February 3, 2005 02:25 PM