Lemony Webbles

How I pick out toys

I was recently asked how I pick out toys for my children and what I look for. Here's my story. Way before I was married even, I started collecting books for my future children. My huge love for children's books made them seem indispensable, and I couldn't wait to share them and carry on the literary tradition in our family. That's still my favorite toy for my kids because it does great things for them on so many levels- from giving them more lap time to accustoming them to reading left to right, not to mention the actual content of the books, which is a whole world unto itself. So I started with what I love. When it came to the barrage of input from media sources, though, I started to quaver (a mix of quivering and wavering). I felt insecure by all the flashy commercials on TV and in shiny catalogs, etc. "If my child didn't have the Fisher Price Kick Start Gym, would her gross motor skills be forever impaired?" was an actual thought process I went through when Georgia was a baby. I bought the dern thing and the tinny 'music' that it played was SO irritating to me that I winced every time Georgia cutely kicked at it. What was the matter with me? Rosie O'Donnell swore by this thing. She assured me that it was the very best thing for my baby. I was a sucker. I got played. My insecurities led me down the wrong road.

I've tried to learn from lessons like that. Now I try to keep up with the cognitive and motor developments that come with each stage of their growth and try to assist them through play (Dr. Sears' books explain these stages very well and how to play with your small children with things you can find around the house), and I try not to let advertising connect with that process too much. I learned from Dr. Sears and other down-to-earth types that a child's favorite toys are her parents. My kids want me more than any toy I could buy them. Isn't that a boost to the ego? This has two implications for me. The first is that the pressure is off for me to find them the ultimate toys and make sure I can afford to keep up with getting them all. The second is that whatever toys I do buy, I better love them myself, since I'm going to be playing with them, teaching with them, learning from the experience of them, living with them sitting in my house, and picking them up off the floor repeatedly.

The toys that fit that description for me are usually made of wood or are muted, lovely colors (or both). They are relatively simple things that inspire imaginitive play. They are beautiful. They are often things that build a bridge between the child and adult worlds. Things that fit this description are sometimes very expensive (large and beautiful wooden toys, child-size furniture, Montessori-type 'works'), and sometimes they are almost free, they're so cheap (a ribbon on a stick, a little rubber ball, fruit scented soap, office supplies, etc.).

My continuing challenge is just to relax and have fun when I'm picking out toys and imagine what it would be like to play with whatever it is with my children. It's a place for the limits of my own imagination to be tested and to grow.