Lemony Webbles

insert good title here, I'm going to bed

I make it a point never to apologize when I don't write things here for a while because it doesn't feel right. It feels lame and disempowering. But Grandma complained that she doesn't like orange soup, which I think is her way of saying, 'please will you keep writing and telling about your life? I want more of the story.' And I get that. Here's why I haven't been writing much here. I'm in a part of my life that is taking 100 percent of my mental and emotional focus, and I really have to get it as right as I can because it has to do with my kids. But, like a lot of life, it's not something I can talk about on a weblog or anything like that. So there's not much of my focus left over for writing, even though that's something I do for fun and relaxation, and to feel lemony-good of course.

So, I'm still here, and very much alive in my struggles and hard work, and I still relax and take care of myself. And when someone tells me they want to hear what's going on, like Grandma did, it really helps me focus on something other than getting through the day. I'm glad to be here.

I feel like I'm in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by crazy-colored fish and weird plants and I'm a part of it all, swimming among them. That's what it feels like to me to be really aware of each day. And I also feel like I'm a piece of something large that's working hard and well, like I'm some organ of a blue whale. Which one? Hmm..if you were an organ of a blue whale, which organ would you be? Mmm..whale anatomy. I think I'll be the tail; moving that huge thing forward, providing direction, that kind of thing. I think the whale is society, or maybe the Baha'i community, you get the picture. Those are the good parts of my life, in simile form.