Why Lemony?
(the “About Me” page)

September 06, 2004

strange days

It's been a very heavy work week over here, and it's not done yet. Billy's hanging on to his job by working crazy long hours and all weekend, and that makes me not get any breaks or time for reflection. But actually, the girls and I have gotten to do some pretty fun stuff and hang out with great people anyways, so that helps. Even though I'm trying to be detached about our immediate future regarding the very low probability that Billy's company is going to make it through the year, I still get some underlying anxiety and shakiness going on. So far, every time I get pregnant, whatever company Billy's working for goes downhill and runs out of money, and it may be happening again here. It's almost funny, in a bad joke sort of way. It's going to be a heavy work month over here, as the pressure is not going to be off of Billy until the end of September, if then. So far, good things, in the form of visits from Layli, Lucy, Uncle Allyn and Aunt Jeanie, a great party at katie's house, Busey woods being reopened (and now its wheelchair and stroller accesible), lots of Curtis Orchard, and nice sunny days, etc. have buoyed our spirits and made it not so noticable that we are in a strange situation. It feels like that time before a storm when the air feels heavy and expectant, but you don't know if it's really going to rain or not because the sky still looks pretty clear. Maybe the company will squeak through this and Billy's job will continue existing, but maybe it won't and we'll have to look for something else, hopefully here, but maybe we'll have to sell the house and move while I'm pregnant or even worse, right after the baby's born, and maybe on and on... Right now I'm hoping for the best, with only a little bit of frantic clinging to that hope.

Here's something happy (though relatively unrelated): all of us loving up Amia.

heartland 0117.JPG

Posted by Bahiyyih at September 6, 2004 09:59 AM

"Look not on thy weakness and impotence, nay, look upon the power of Thy Lord which hath surrounded all regions." ~ Abdu'l-Baha

This quotation helps me a great deal in dealing with the unknown and limbo-type situations. You have my love and prayers.

Posted by: Amy Eades at September 9, 2004 09:30 PM